Continued from Page 1 => When Life Gives You Disappointments and Pain
Even if you are not a Christian (yet ;)) and you are reading this, I really think the concept of not allowing yourself to be overcome by anger, hurt and revenge should make sense to everyone, don’t you think? It helps you live a much healthier life. When you release others and let them go, you release yourself to live life to the fullest as well! See also: How to become a Christian
If you have made it this far, 😀 here are some more reminders I wanted to leave with you… I really want to keep reminding myself of these things too!!!
– Remember that in every situation you find yourself, whether good or bad, you can learn something. Pause for a minute, and ask – “What am I supposed to be learning from this situation”?
– When you get angry, please try to take a little time out and not act/speak while you are angry. You may very well regret your words or actions later. This also includes dealing with your children – don’t yell, spank, or otherwise discipline them when you are very angry. They may be young, but your words and actions have such a huge impact on them, sometimes for many years to come.
– By all means be kind and polite, but please please please don’t say things that you don’t really mean in a bid to be nice. You may not realize it, but people often see through this and your “nice gesture” ends up not being so nice after all. Instead, it’s a turn off.
– When addressing/confronting someone about anything at all, pray for the wisdom to do it right, in a way that will actually achieve what you set out to achieve. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, people will take things the wrong way. Pray for God to help you to say the right thing, at the right time too.
– Remember that there is almost always more than one side to every story!
– When a person really hurts or disappoints you, pleeease don’t bottle up your feelings. Often times the person you are so terribly mad at does not even realize it, and they go on leading their merry life :)!! You are the one that is hurting. When you bottle up your feelings for so long and then maybe one day finally let it all out, you will often say things in anger, and will most likely not achieve what you really set out to achieve. Pray for wisdom to address the situation, and address it pronto, before things get worse! And move on.
– When someone confronts you about something, take a deep breath and try to look at things from their perspective. Remember, they may be wrong, and they may be right. But try not to react in anger. Try to listen and see things from their point of view for a minute (even though it can be really difficult – I’ve been there!). Think long and hard about what they are saying, and address it accordingly. If you have been misunderstood, explain this as calmly as possible, and move on. If there is something you need to correct, do so. If you find that you have wronged someone unintentionally or intentionally, tell them you’re sorry.
– Accept people’s apologies, even if they don’t come packaged exactly the way you want/expect. Everyone is different, and we all express our feelings differently. Respect everyone for who they are, accept an apology, forgive, and move on!! Dear Friends, life is simply too short :)!
– Please, be patient with me :), with others, and with yourself as well. Remember, no-one is perfect; we are all (hopefully) working to become better people. So keep that in mind, and along those lines, always remember that people do change, yes, unfortunately sometimes for worse, but definitely also often for better, over time. So don’t assume a person still has the same character they did the last time you related with them. And forgive yourself too. Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes. Learn from your mistakes and move on:)!
-If you find that no matter what you do, you still remain terribly angry, so angry that you start to think some not-so-nice thoughts like inflicting harm on yourself or on others, blowing things up, destroying things, people etc – you get the picture – PLEASE, BY ALL MEANS, SEEK HELP!!! Please, don’t wait until you do something you will terribly regret before you seek help (by then you may possibly be needing a lawyer as well!!) Seek help from a professional counselor, or from a trusted friend/family member, from your pastor, youth group leader, etc… but most important of all – Seek help from God, the ultimate healer, the ultimate peace giver, the one who truly understands you and loves you more than anyone else.
And finally, remember:
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
~ Lewis B. Smedes
“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” ~ Romans 12:17-21, NIV
See Also: Bible Verses about Letting Go and Letting God;
Letting Go of Anger and Hurt; Letting Go of Bad Relationships;
Feeling Overwhelmed; Feeling Down; Never Giving Up;
Bible Verses about Breakups, Broken Hearts, Heartbreak;
Feeling Abandoned; Feeling Lonely & Sad; Feeling Tired; Feeling Discouraged;
Bible Verses about Anger, Anger Management, Bitterness; Constructive Anger;
Bible Verses about Arguing, Arguments, Conflict, Conflict Resolution;
Bible Verses about Love; Bible Verses about Loving Others; Loving Your Enemy
Bible Verses about Forgiveness, Forgiving Others, Forgiving Yourself;
Bible Verses about Racial Reconciliation; Prayers for Racial Reconciliation
Bible Verses about Peace & Strength, Bible Verses about Hope & Staying Hopeful,
Choosing Joy, & How to Live a Joyful Life – 12 Ways to be Joyful
Please let me know if you need some more resources on dealing with anger and hurt.
This note is absolutely NOT an endorsement to stay in an abusive relationship. If you are in any kind of an abusive relationship, seek help ASAP. I am definitely for trying as much as possible to resolve conflicts, I am for patience, I am for forgiveness, and I am for sticking together through ups and downs…but if you are being abused, especially in a case where you fear for your safety or/& for the safety of loved ones, and in which your abuser has no desire to change, please, GET OUT. Taking yourself out of an abusive situation and genuine forgiveness are not mutually exclusive!
Thanks for reading, Dear Friends – Have a wonderfully blessed, stress-free, productive, and joyful day!
Much Love & Blessings,
Bomi Jolly ~ JollyNotes.com
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