Don’t want kisses…

It was a typical evening, just a few days ago. We were all tired after what had been a long and busy day, each one of us dealing with their day and their work the best way they could. I sat on the couch watching the boys play, thinking – I’ll catch my breath before getting their dinners out.

And then my 2 yr old came up to me – I’m hungry Mummy! For some reason he just really amused me, with his big eyes, chubby cheeks and little fists, demanding his dinner. I felt an urge to give him a big hug so I picked him up, pinched his cheeks and squeezed him tight. I started giving him kisses too.

To give you a little background – The boys both absolutely love being kissed. “You forgot to give us kisses”! Is what we are sure to hear if we dare put them in bed without their usual nightly dose:). My 2yr old especially will even come up to me randomly from time to time to ask for kisses. So when I started giving him kisses, I was not surprised at the way he responded, giggling and squirming. After a few moments had gone by however, he looked up at me and said very seriously, all giggles gone – “I don’t want kisses Mummy, I want food!”. I was taken aback for a moment. I then laughed and very quickly got up to get them their dinner. I got my little guy’s message, loud and clear.

Two things immediately came to mind after this happened. One was our last post/discussion on JollyNotes, “Good Morning My Neighbors”. The other was something I had read on Pastor Julian Newman’s Blog, Diary of a Dreamer, also not very long before that, which said something like “Selflessly invest in the lives of others, that’s what Christ’s followers do.” (paraphrasing).

I thought to myself – Yes – It is wonderful, essential in fact, to regularly invest selflessly in the lives of others. You could say we talked about the investing “when” here last week. What happened that evening reminded me about the importance of always considering the investing “what” as well though.

I want to invest in other people’s lives, but I always want to invest the right thing.

I don’t want to…
Invest lots of prayers when what someone needs is pretty obvious, and I am in the position to fill that need
Invest money when all they need is my time or/and attention
Invest words of wisdom when all they need is a hug
Invest a pat on the back when what they need is a loving correction
Invest advice when what they really need is a listening ear

And I don’t want to invest hugs and kisses when what they really need is food! lol

I’m sure you get the picture. Hugs and kisses and many other things are wonderful, but they are not always the right things to invest in a particular person at a particular time. Sometimes, it’s pretty obvious how best we can invest in each others’ lives. But sometimes it is not as obvious, and this is another example of how constantly relying on God’s guidance can help us consistently make the right impact on the lives of those around us. And as we invest in other people’s lives, others will certainly invest in our lives too.

Here’s the Verse/Thought of the Day:
“The LORD will guide you always…..” – Isaiah 58:11a

And here are some more verses to think about: (Thanks to everyone that reminded me about these scriptures, and thanks to Olubola for the reference:)!)

James 2:15-17 (NIV) “Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” See More Great Bible Verses

May we all constantly invest positively in each others’ lives – the right thing, at the right time, and always with God’s help. Amen.

Much Love & Blessings,

Bomi Jolly

Don’t go yet:)! I think you’ll also enjoy:
- I’m wearing mine right now :)
- Lady in the Blue Jacket
- It’s Not Up to Them!


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54 Responses to Don’t want kisses…
  1. Brenda
    December 8, 2009 | 10:51 AM

    That was so funny, little ones can be very assertive. Nice lessons learned too. Thank you Bomi

  2. Bomi Jolly
    December 8, 2009 | 11:12 AM

    @Brenda – Kids sure can be assertive lol!! Thanks Brenda, glad it was good for you!
    @Teye – Amen and Amen to that wonderful prayer! Thank you Teye!
    @Bunmi – I certainly will too, so help me God!! lol.. Thanks Bunmi!
    @Hexy – Thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind and encouraging words:)! Thanks a lot for taking the time to read this, I’m really glad to hear you found it helpful. I will certainly try my best to be more sensitive to those around me too. I trust God to continue to help us as we all grow in our daily walk with him. Thank you!

  3. Femi
    December 8, 2009 | 11:27 AM

    Thank you for this!I love the way you use little things that happen to teach such big lessons. You’re very smart, Sister Bomi! ♥

  4. Bomi Jolly
    December 8, 2009 | 11:37 AM

    @Jibola – Thank you very much for that wonderful reminder! You are absolutely right, God always knows what we need , exactly when we need it! I love that illustration, sometimes God will give us kisses when we think we need food – but God always knows what we need, when we need it! Thanks so much Jibola, appreciate you taking the time to read and to share.

    @ Roxane – So true, children are so innocent! It never ceases to amaze me how much we can constantly learn from them. Thanks so much for taking the time to read/comment. I am so glad to hear it was good for you. Will keep em coming by God’s grace, please keep reading!! lol…. Thanks Roxane.

    @Sister Femi:)!! lol..>Thanks so much!! You are far too kind=)! lol.. Thank you for reading, I am very glad you found this practical and useful, that’s the most important thing! Thank you again.

  5. Yemi
    December 8, 2009 | 11:42 AM

    Thanks Bomi.

  6. Teye
    December 8, 2009 | 10:52 AM

    Amen, and may God increase the spirt of discernment n sensitivity within us

  7. Bunmi
    December 8, 2009 | 10:56 AM

    This is so enligtening. Thx for sharing. No I’ll be more careful/ observant when investing in others LOL

  8. HexyDre
    December 8, 2009 | 11:07 AM

    Hmmm, word! (again). The most inspiring thing is how you get these precious messages from the simplest of all events. God bless you for sharing this again. I’ll try to be more sensitive to what people (my friends and loved ones) actually need. Cheers

  9. Jibola
    December 8, 2009 | 11:17 AM

    thanks for sharing this, it is very true. And just as a reminder, God knows what we need before we ask and sometimes even though He seems to give us kisses when we need food i’m sure He alone can tell that right there and then, kisses will do us more good. Thats why He is God.

  10. Roxane
    December 8, 2009 | 11:22 AM

    …We learn so much from children – they are so innocent ~untainted . It is refreshing to see the world through their eyes. Thanks for this message, greatly understood. Keep it coming :)

  11. Marty
    December 8, 2009 | 11:40 AM

    Love it!! Great reminder.

  12. Titi
    December 8, 2009 | 12:49 PM

    This is so true. Thank you very much Bomi.

  13. Bomi Jolly
    December 8, 2009 | 12:58 PM

    @Marty – Thank you so much! It’s certainly a great reminder for me too…Thanks a lot for taking the time to read/comment.

    @Yemi – Thank you:)!!!! Much appreciated:)! Thanks.

    @Yemi J, Titi – Thank you very much for taking the time to read and comment. So glad to hear it was good for you, thanks a lot:)!

  14. Anonymous
    December 8, 2009 | 1:13 PM

    This is so true. Sometimes wen we want 2 play smart on kids,they come out smarter. They truly are a blessing 4m God. I dont enjoy reading,but i take pains reading Jolly notes & alwz looking 4ward 2 reading it. Now i enjoy reading. Thanks 4 d motivation & inspiration. More power 2 ur elbow.

  15. Yemi J
    December 8, 2009 | 12:48 PM

    Very true…thank you.

  16. Ayo Ayodele
    December 8, 2009 | 2:27 PM

    So true…Even God said not to say we would pray for a brother who is hungry..All we need do is give him food…God help us to see the need and not always think we know the need in the 1st instance

  17. Tunde Ogundana
    December 8, 2009 | 1:55 PM

    I have always known you were special, even when were kids. Only a spirit filled, God driven person can think of things like these. To everyone Bomi didn’t just start being this thoughtful, because I remember back in Lagos she would take provisions (groceries) to orphans at the SOS homes. You are a true gem to your family and friends, and a carrier of God’s light to this world. May God continue to take care of you and your family, as you care for other people.

  18. Bomi Jolly
    December 8, 2009 | 3:53 PM

    @Anonymous – I am so happy to hear that!! Thanks a lot for taking the time out to visit and read Jolly Notes! I am so happy to hear that you’ve been motivated and that you now enjoy reading – that’s wonderful, and so encouraging! Thank you for sharing…I hope you continue to enjoy reading!

    @Tunde – wooow, ever seen an African girl blush? lol… But seriously, thank you for your very very kind words….Thank you for your very thoughtful prayers, and I sincerely wish you and your family the same. You are far too kind! Thank you Tunde~

    @S. Ayo – Yes, so true! And Amen to your prayers.. Yes…and may we always rely on God to show us how to see the need, and truly minister to that need effectively! Amen. Thanks so much!

    @P. Julian – Thank you very much for being an inspiration and an example to others!! I’ll certainly keep reading!:)!

  19. Folarin
    December 8, 2009 | 4:09 PM

    Well said Bomi! When possible it’s important to figure out what the person (investee, LOL!) actually needs.

  20. Julian Newman
    December 8, 2009 | 3:16 PM

    Wonderfully cute story. Excellent post. Thanks for reading my blog. I am blessed that it was an inspiration. You are a profound inspiration as well. You are doing a great job bringing great joy to the blogosphere!

  21. mwila
    December 8, 2009 | 4:22 PM

    Knowing your son, i was just laughing so hard about this.cute as a button but gimme my food mama…

  22. Tobi
    December 8, 2009 | 5:35 PM

    Really true, an investment is a waste, if its not meeting a need in particular, Thanks for this.
    Your children are really an inspiration to you.May God bless you real good

  23. Bomi Jolly
    December 8, 2009 | 6:48 PM

    @Folarin – Very true…!:)! Thank you very much. And lol@”investee”!:)

    @Mwila – Thanks a lot! I know, he doesn’t joke around with his food right! lol.. Thanks:).

    @Tobi – I completely agree with you! Thank you for stopping by to read and comment. I appreciate it. They definitely are an inspiration, I am grateful. Amen Tobi, and God bless you too!:)!

  24. Peju
    December 8, 2009 | 8:28 PM

    Well said…Thanks!

  25. Ope
    December 8, 2009 | 11:08 PM

    I love it! Lord help us invest the right things into the right people at the right time!
    Thank you Bomi.

  26. Anietie
    December 9, 2009 | 1:20 AM

    All I can say is “Thank you Jesus”. How many times have we overlooked the real needs of people and offered a pseudo blessing?You are constantly challenging my mentality and giving me insights with regards to my walk with the Lord. I could not agree more with this article. Real food for thought!!!!
    Indeed you are blessing me daily. Thanks!

  27. Bomi Jolly
    December 9, 2009 | 6:38 AM

    @Peju – Thanks so much! Thanks a lot for stopping by, glad you liked it… Appreciate it=)!

    @Ope – Thanks a lot Ope! And Amen to that….May we (selflessly) invest the right things into the right people at the right time – Love that! Amen!! Thanks a lot Ope!

    @Anietie – You are so right! Thanks so much for your kind words. I am really glad to hear Jolly notes has been helpful in your daily walk with God. That is my desire and that makes me so glad:)! May God continue to teach us all each day, May we continue to learn from and share with each other, and May God help us not to dole out “pseudo blessings”, like you said! Amen! Thanks Anietie!

  28. Tola
    December 9, 2009 | 6:48 AM

    A resounding amen! Thanks dearie

  29. Abiola
    December 9, 2009 | 12:47 PM

    May God grant us the grace to be attentive in knowing exactly what to invest in the lives of the people around us. Bomi u are right it is not all about giving/investing but meeting people exactly at their points of need. I really enjoyed ur piece. keep the fire burning!

  30. bunmi
    December 9, 2009 | 4:49 PM

    indeed you are a blessing

  31. Bomi Jolly
    December 9, 2009 | 7:17 PM

    @Tola – Yes, I’m with you – Amen and Amen and Amen:)!! Thank you very much Tola!

    @ Abiola – Thank you so much! Amen! Yes, it’s not just about giving/investing…I pray we all allow ourselves to always be used effectively by God, to meet people exactly at their points of need. Amen!! Thanks so much, really glad to hear you enjoyed reading, appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

    And By the way, this reminds me of Roxane’s comment on “Good Morning my Neighbors” – where she reminded us that “it’s not about us”! It’s so true! I think it’s something we should always strive to remember, it’s definitely not about us, it’s about who we are reaching out to.

    @Bunmi – Thank you thank you thank you!! Appreciate you taking the time to read the note…Glad it was a positive experience for you~ Thanks Bunmi!

  32. Keke Hammond
    December 9, 2009 | 7:24 PM

    This is my first time reading your blog! Good stuff dude! Love how u weave scenarios with your family into lessons for us to learn from combined with scripture. U go girl! :)

  33. Ben Moses
    December 10, 2009 | 9:09 AM

    The lord has blessed you with daily feeds for the hungry souls. May his illuminating grace increase your wisdom.More grace to your elbow. Thanks

  34. Bomi Jolly
    December 10, 2009 | 2:51 PM

    @Keke – Thank you so much! Very happy to hear you enjoyed the posts and found useful lessons to learn as well. That’s wonderful! Please come back to read more notes in the future:)! Thanks Keke!

    @Ben – Thanks for reading, & I really appreciate your very thoughtful words and prayers! Amen! Thank you very much Ben!

    @ Emeka – love that – I pray that God will teach us not to “major on minor things” too! Thanks a lot Emeka, thanks for taking the time to read and share your thoughts – glad you liked it!

  35. Emeka
    December 10, 2009 | 2:21 PM

    One thing i pray for daily is that GOD teach me not to major on minor things. It can be frustrating cos u cannever achieve the desired results. Thank you for your simple but powerful article.
    God bless you.

  36. Yetunde
    December 10, 2009 | 3:37 PM

    Bomi you are so Blessed.

  37. Kemi
    December 12, 2009 | 2:49 PM

    Hmmmm! Very true and thotful. Thanks for posting this.

  38. Tobi Iwala
    December 12, 2009 | 4:57 PM

    HI Jolly, you’ve got great work here, am glad this is in existence pls keep it up, we’re rite after you…
    three smiles 4u :-):-):-) !!!
    do you have any notes on business orientation? I love doing business lol, wish you all the best

  39. Bomi Jolly
    December 14, 2009 | 12:54 AM

    @Yetunde – Amen to that! Thank you so much Yetunde! Bless you!

    @Kemi – Thanks a lot for reading and commenting, appreciate it:)! Glad you found it useful.

    @Tobi – Thanks so much, your “3 smiles” made me smile lol… thanks… Business Orientation…hmm we will see! Thanks again Tobi :)

  40. Kanyinsola Sofowora
    December 14, 2009 | 9:25 AM

    Wow, nice, i think i am gonna get married and have kids right away… Love notes Bomi. Miss you

  41. Kanyinsola Sofowora
    December 14, 2009 | 9:26 AM

    should have read “lovely notes” and not Love notes…

  42. Tobi Iwala
    December 14, 2009 | 7:39 PM

    you r welcome…

    may all ur expectations come true as we all celeb. xmas with abundance of joy joy joy.:-)

  43. Southern Gal
    December 14, 2009 | 10:16 PM

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. Glad you got a good laugh!

    The whole gist of this post has me singing Keith Green’s “Asleep in the Light” in my head. Then the last verse confirmed it! Thanks.

  44. Tracy
    December 14, 2009 | 11:37 PM

    Adore how that quick encounter with your son is a picture of a relevant spiritual principle. May we indeed each rely on our heavenly Father so that we may invest the right best things at His perfect time into the lives of others.

  45. Bomi Jolly
    December 15, 2009 | 10:20 AM

    @Kanyinsola – LOL!! I really look forward to that too :). Thank you so much for taking the time to read the note, so glad to hear you enjoyed it. I miss you tooooo!!! Thank you:).

    @Tobi – Amen… Thank you very much for that thoughtful prayer, I wish you and yours the same! Thanks again.

    @Southern Girl – Thanks a lot for stopping by, and thank you so much for reminding us about that wonderfully apt song by Keith Green. It is so so true…may we always remember. Thank you!

    @Tracy – Amen and Amen! Thank you very much, I appreciate you taking the time to read and share. Thanks Tracy!

  46. Joyce
    December 16, 2009 | 2:00 PM

    Its amazing. Thanks for allowing those precious moments with your boys teach us about the truths of “The Word.”
    God bless you.

  47. Kemi (Fausat)
    January 4, 2010 | 10:19 AM

    God bless you. well said!!!

  48. kolawole temitope
    January 7, 2010 | 8:31 AM

    keepnote,2010 is the year of joy.

  49. Yinka Olateju
    January 15, 2010 | 11:03 AM

    ‘Bomi, dat was great and inspiring. I learnt a great lesson and i’ll pass it on. Do av a lovely weekend.

  50. Bomi Jolly
    January 16, 2010 | 8:44 AM

    @ Joyce & Kemi – Thank you very much… I really appreciate it.. God bless you too!
    @Kolawole – Amen!! Looking forward to an exciting and joyful year… Thank you very much!
    @Yinka – Thanks a lot, that’s wonderful to hear…much appreciated:)! Have a great weekend! Thanks

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