So… like everyone else, I sometimes get disappointed by people (and I disappoint some people sometimes too). It happens to everyone from time to time. Some disappointments are huge and can seem crushing, others are no big deal and we can just brush them off and quickly move on. Yep, it is unfortunately a fact and a part of life. Disappointments can be especially painful to bear when you expect so much more from the person in question. For instance, I was just talking with a friend about “falling in love” with people. We were talking about how certain virtues in some people make us feel like we have fallen in love with them. When I “fall in love” with a person (old or young, man or woman – not talking about romantic love here;)), it is so weird cos it’s such a strong feeling. It’s a wonderful feeling:). And the same way, when a person disappoints (thankfully this is not something that happens often), it can be so very painful… especially when you’ve “fallen in love” with them.
But then on the flip side, you have zero expectations from some people and then they just go and really surprise you! Just like you can fall in love with a person from afar i.e. before you even really get to know them, you can form certain (neutral or sometimes negative) opinions of a person from afar… so you may really not expect much from them, but then they surprise you by being so wonderful and so kind and so amazing! And it reminds you again that you truly cannot judge a book by its cover…. it works both ways – good and bad. And remember, sometimes a book on the whole can be good but it may have some unpleasant pages to swallow. So along those lines, I’m also reminded not to dismiss a person entirely because of some negative experiences I’ve had with them.
The point of my story is, please please please don’t give up on everyone(by little actions here and there) because of the experiences you’ve had with some people. Please, don’t let your experiences in life shape you negatively as a person… Strive to always be the best YOU that you can be…treating everyone with love, kindness and respect. Yes, you will sometimes be disappointed, but you will very often be pleasantly surprised:)!
Please, let your experiences, good and bad, shape you positively… like I always say, let them make you wiser as time goes by. We do ourselves a great disservice if we allow people/experiences turn us into negative, cynical people. We do ourselves (and others including several innocent people) harm, not good. It is a vicious cycle… We become mean to others, they become mean to us and to others as well, and the cycle goes on.
So let’s try to treat everyone we come in contact with with kindness, love and respect , whether we’ve been disappointed or not, and whether we’ve gotten to know them or not. It really does us good overall. And as a bonus, we get some wonderful wonderful surprises along the way:)! See Great Verses & Quotes
Much Love & Blessings,
Bomi Jolly
Don’t go yet:)! I think you’ll also enjoy:
- ~ Secret Place ~
- Don’t Want Kisses…
- Foolish Words
I love this article Bomi! It is so true – NEVER judge a book by it’s cover. Thank you for this website and keep up the GREAT work! I love how you’re using your talent to communicate to be a blessing. Many blessings to you and yours.
Thank you so much Fisayo!! Thanks for the kind and encouraging words…I pray for many blessings on you and yours too! Thank you!
When I was young, I fell in love with you Bomi, and it was to be untold. It is still to be un-revered but not untold, for it was that which was noticed spiritually at that time that has undoubtedly brought us together again. But for the which who knows? Also just so that you know this, that someone had always wished you were younger for no good reason at the time, it is said now, and so may the heavenly host keep you and preserve you continually for the good works. Amen.
Thanks a lot for sharing.
You’re so right, Bomi!
There is no point living life as a cynical and negative person.
I am passing through a situation, where people who appear to have my back actually sidelined me. I was hurt and bitter and it affected my attitude towards them and others.
I have been able to press past the hurt, the shame and bitterness through the help of the Holy Spirit…also reflecting on this article further strengthens my resolve to let go, move on and become wiser, stronger and better instead of choosing to be bitter and mean.
I only have one life to live…why wouldn’t I choose to live it happy, joyful, hopeful and loving to others? I know it’s hard choice considering that sometimes the pain from disappointments drives one crazy to take irrational actions that will inflict the same hurt one feels on to others…but it’s too much price to pay for being stuck in the vicious cycle. I choose to have an abundant life, I choose LOVE, KINDNESS, RESPECT, FORGIVENESS AND JOY!…so help me God!
@ Ope – Thanks so much for the kind and thoughtful prayers and thoughts. Amen to those prayers… ! I really appreciate you dropping by to read and comment, and I am glad you enjoyed it. Thank you…:)!
@Olutope – Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts. It is truly painful when we are hurt by people, especially those whom we love and trust. I am so glad you brought up that important point – through the help of the Holy Spirit, we can move past anything! It may not be easy but God’s Holy Spirit continually helps us by ministering peace, forgiveness, love, kindness, joy, and all good things to us.
I am really glad this article also helped strengthen the resolve that was placed in your heart by God. Yes, it really is not worth trying to get back, get even, or inflict hurts on those who have hurt us, or on others. It is not at all healthy and who wants to be stuck in the mean, vicious cycle?
I know God will continue to help us to depend on him 100%, and to trust him to heal us, to see the good in people even when we’ve been hurt, and to become more and more like Him.
Thanks again Olutope! God bless.
When God helps us to move past what we have gone through in friendships that are marred, do we have to remain friends with such people, especially when they dont seem to want to still be friends with us. I had an experience like that…tried to do the right thing, move past it and kept keeping i touch, but it was obvious from the conversations that the other party was not interested in remaining friends, after a while, i decided to let sleeping dogs lie and did not call as often anymore…all i got was the same reaction-no phone calls at all, and so i concluded that my assumption was correct…so back to my question, is it ok for things to be that way even if you have moved past the happening/events and God has helped you to forgive?
Hello Omolola! Thanks a lot for reading, sharing your thoughts, and for bringing up that important question.
Romans 12:18 says “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
First, I believe we should try our very best to remain at peace and to have a good relationship with everyone, in all that we do. But remember, it takes two… you can only do what depends on you, you can only play your own part and leave the rest in God’s hands. As long as you do whatever depends on you, your conscience is clear….
The other thing is – Please remember that sometimes, after people have been hurt, they may actually have forgiven you, just like you have forgiven them…but it’s possible they’re just not ready for that kind of relationship quite yet (i.e. regular phone calls, hanging out regularly,etc). Sometimes some people need some time even after they’ve forgiven you, to get back into the way things used to be. When it appears that this is the case, please try to respect their wishes – with no hard feelings. I understand that it may be disappointing, but be patient and don’t push them – they may just need a little more time.
Finally – I think there are definitely situations in which we have to accept that a person’s season in our life is over. Sometimes, even though it is painful, we have to be willing to let them go, always in love, and always in peace… and always trusting that God knows best.
I am confident God will continue to teach us all how to love, how to forgive, and how to live at peace, just the way He wants us to.
Thanks again for stopping by Omolola. I hope this is helpful…If you have any other questions/comments, please feel free to post them here, or you can also send an email if you prefer.
You have really made a point…and I’ve learnt somethings,thanks Bomi.
Thank you Nikky, I’m really glad you found this useful!
Great piece on relationship. God bless
Thank you very much, Rose! God bless you too=).