It was a quiet Sunday afternoon yesterday…we were all home – everyone relaxing or otherwise going about their business. My 4yr old and I were at the dining table on our computers, my 2yr old was playing in the living room, and hubby was in the bedroom sorting out stuff. I was enjoying the quiet and I figured I’d use the chance to get some things finished up online.
Then my 4yr old got into a very talkative mood. 8+7 is always 15 Mummy! I’m making up a list of words starting with D, I need Daddy, and I don’t need you because your name starts with M! Do you like playing with your computer Mummy? I like playing with my computer too! It’s so cold and windy outside! And it’s cloudy too! We can’t play outside because it’s cold! We’re going to eat lots of cake after dinner! He had so much to talk about. I initially joined in each new topic as it came up – each new topic coming up within seconds of the previous one… but eventually my responses had reduced to “hmm”, “yeah”, “no”, “really?”, “good job!”… you get the picture. I was more focused on what I was trying to finish up.
Everything in me however perked up when I heard him say – “Mummy! My brother’s a boy – Can he be a girl when he’s 20″? I immediately got up, looked at him and said very sternly – NO, he’s not a girl, he will never be a girl!!! NO! He will grow up to be a man, not a girl! He’s not a girl!!! By now my 2yr old had come to join us in the dining area, wondering what had gotten me so flustered.
My boys both looked at me all wide eyed, like – Ok, what’s going on? What’s gotten into Mummy? Is she ok? Looking at their bewildered faces, I just burst out laughing! I immediately realized how silly I had been, instinctively getting myself worked up over nothing…. My innocent little boy was of course just playing around with an idea in his mind, this question was no different from the million other questions he had asked me – he of course had no idea what preconceived notions I had about a boy becoming a girl!
What happened just made me think about how often we allow our biases, experiences, or preconceived notions to affect our judgment of or responses to situations. It is so easy to misinterpret the intent or meaning of a situation, or the meaning behind someone’s words or actions sometimes, when we already have biases in our minds about the topic in question.
So we all had a good laugh, after which I calmly explained myself without getting all agitated lol. We all explored different scenarios about boys, girls, men, women and we certainly all learned something new that day.
I know I was definitely reminded to always be very careful not to let any biases, previous experiences or ideas affect my judgment of people, people’s words, people’s actions, or situations in general. To patiently listen, process, and be slow to speak. I hope this will in some way help you remember that too:)!
Here’s the Verse/Thought of the Day:
“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” ~ James 1:19 (NLT) See More Great Verses
I hope you have a wonderful, cheerful and fluster free day lol!
Much Love & Blessings,