It was a quiet Sunday afternoon yesterday…we were all home – everyone relaxing or otherwise going about their business. My 4yr old and I were at the dining table on our computers, my 2yr old was playing in the living room, and hubby was in the bedroom sorting out stuff. I was enjoying the quiet and I figured I’d use the chance to get some things finished up online.
Then my 4yr old got into a very talkative mood. 8+7 is always 15 Mummy! I’m making up a list of words starting with D, I need Daddy, and I don’t need you because your name starts with M! Do you like playing with your computer Mummy? I like playing with my computer too! It’s so cold and windy outside! And it’s cloudy too! We can’t play outside because it’s cold! We’re going to eat lots of cake after dinner! He had so much to talk about. I initially joined in each new topic as it came up – each new topic coming up within seconds of the previous one… but eventually my responses had reduced to “hmm”, “yeah”, “no”, “really?”, “good job!”… you get the picture. I was more focused on what I was trying to finish up.
Everything in me however perked up when I heard him say – “Mummy! My brother’s a boy – Can he be a girl when he’s 20″? I immediately got up, looked at him and said very sternly – NO, he’s not a girl, he will never be a girl!!! NO! He will grow up to be a man, not a girl! He’s not a girl!!! By now my 2yr old had come to join us in the dining area, wondering what had gotten me so flustered.
My boys both looked at me all wide eyed, like – Ok, what’s going on? What’s gotten into Mummy? Is she ok? Looking at their bewildered faces, I just burst out laughing! I immediately realized how silly I had been, instinctively getting myself worked up over nothing…. My innocent little boy was of course just playing around with an idea in his mind, this question was no different from the million other questions he had asked me – he of course had no idea what preconceived notions I had about a boy becoming a girl!
What happened just made me think about how often we allow our biases, experiences, or preconceived notions to affect our judgment of or responses to situations. It is so easy to misinterpret the intent or meaning of a situation, or the meaning behind someone’s words or actions sometimes, when we already have biases in our minds about the topic in question.
So we all had a good laugh, after which I calmly explained myself without getting all agitated lol. We all explored different scenarios about boys, girls, men, women and we certainly all learned something new that day.
I know I was definitely reminded to always be very careful not to let any biases, previous experiences or ideas affect my judgment of people, people’s words, people’s actions, or situations in general. To patiently listen, process, and be slow to speak. I hope this will in some way help you remember that too:)!
Here’s the Verse/Thought of the Day:
“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” ~ James 1:19 (NLT) See More Great Verses
I hope you have a wonderful, cheerful and fluster free day lol!
Much Love & Blessings,
Bomi Jolly
Don’t go yet:)! I think you’ll also enjoy:
- Foolish Words
- ~ Secret Place ~
- Good Morning My Neighbors!
I hope it helps me too…but Bomi, u know we get exposed to so many disturbing things everyday here in America that its nearly impossible not to over analyze and over react to some innocent comments. Everytime I watch the news, movies and all there is something somewhat disturbing, perhaps if you were in ; u wldnt have been that apt to respond…..God help our hearts!….lol
“I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
I love children, lol if you want to hear the truth, bias free, judgment free they will let you know!!!
First write-up I’m reading on your site. I’m still smiling at the pictures you painted of ur kids astonishment with your outburst
That was a good message from the experience, like you said, its so easy for our previous experience to cloud our judgment of a present situation and cause us to overreact…although I think you did right by immediately correcting him! lol
Have a great week!!
Mayo, you are so right. We do get exposed to a lot and our brains get filled up with so much stuff everyday, it’s hard not to over analyze sometimes!! lol!! God help our hearts indeed!. Thanks a lot Mayo!
Sindy – that is so so true!! We can always learn so much from children. They are truly the best – no judgment, no bias, no preconceived anything! lol. Thank you Sindy:)!
HexyDre – Thanks a lot for stopping by to read and comment….if this is the 1st one you’ve read, I am very glad to hear you liked it….please come back and read more regularly:)! And lol @what you said about immediately correcting him – that’s true too!! lol. Thanks! Have a great week too Hexy…
You’re very right! I’ve fallen into it many times and I realised that the reason why I reacted was basically as a result of pre-conceived notion or opinion I’ve summed up about the person… People are not what or who we think they are…By the time you get to know them better you’ll erase all those negative notions immediately. Your note is a blessing to me….Thanks always
Bomi, I am so proud of you. This articles really perks me up and stops me to think about my actions and words. This is wonderful, thanks for sharing your beautiful life with us. Love as always.
Bomi, I would have had the same reaction as your initial reaction followed up with a lot of I Reject it in Jesus Name.
Very good lesson to learn . I like the processing part of it; a lot of times we jump to wrong conclusions.
@Seyi – Yes! Thanks so much glad to hear the notes are a blessing to you!! Appreciate you stopping by to read and comment. Enjoy the rest of your day Seyi – Thanks!
@Roxane – Thank you so much for your very kind words! I am so glad you found the note useful…Thanks a lot Roxane, Sending lots of love to you too, always:)!
@Yemi – hahaha!! I know exactly what you mean, I can totally imagine my mom for instance saying “I reject it in Jesus’ name”! lol! Thanks a lot for reading and commenting. Yes, I pray we always remember to process and not jump to conclusions! Thanks again…
Bomi, you really made me laugh. I think it’s vital lesson to be learned but the part I enjoyed most was trying to picture you saying “No, He wil NEVER be a girl”….lol. This is so hilarious. Thanks for sharing!
(LOL!) Such a funny scenario, but I can understand how easily it is for us to jump by reflexes into conclusions, as you rightfully mentioned, it all boils down to preconceived notions. GREAT WRITE-UP BOMI!!
it’s very interesting … u never know why the boy asked unless u ask him really … he may have heard somethings … u were right in ur reactions trust me …
Sola, glad to have made you laugh!! I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw their eyes grow big, looking so bewildered – like what has gotten into her??? lol.. Thanks for reading Sola! Glad you enjoyed it ~
@Bimbola – I had to laugh at myself too…lol!! Thank you, glad you enjoyed it, glad it made u laugh too
!
@Inspiritushevinus – Thank you very much for taking the time to read and share your thoughts… I appreciate it! Lots of things go through their little minds for sure! Thanks I:)!
You did the right thing, sometimes impulse based reactions are the best, and later when he remembers your reactions to it, it may help shape his view of things!
I can relate with you Bomi, the same happened to me when my older son- 3, suddenly wanted his younger brother to be a girl, because his friends have younger sisters. After calming down, I told him to pray to God to give mummy a baby girl at the right time.
I had exactly the same experience with my boys last week. This shows that children are the same and just ask innocent questions
Really, you had the exact same experience?? LOL! You are so right, children are the same, across the globe, on so many levels! Thank you very much for sharing your experience/thoughts
!
@ Tomi – LOL!! That’s another way of looking at it! I think we just have to be careful not to over-do it though;)! Thanks Tomi!
@ Tayo, that is so funny! I think that was a wonderful way to take care of that – that’s a wonderful prayer=)!! Thanks so much for sharing that Tayo! Kids are just too funny!
This made me laugh!! Thank you!
Very funny and educational to us adults and to get in a position of a child just to understand how they think.i was laughing out loud when i read this.Children are innocent little fellows.
very nice post, bomi. My second time on your site. you are a source inspiration to all.
Bomi, keep up the good work! really inspiring. I always look forward to read something new on jolly notes.
Thank you Teri! Very glad to hear it made you laugh! Thank you very much for stopping by:)!
Mwila, I’m so glad this made you laugh out loud too! LOL! I know, sometimes I wish I could get into their heads, they come up with all sorts! Thanks a lot for reading/commenting, glad this was good for you:).
Kolade, thank you so much!! I am so glad you came a 2nd time. Thanks a lot for stopping by! Please come again whenever you get the chance. Thank you very much for your kind words!
Bisi, thank you thank you!! Thanks for the kind words, much appreciated. Yes, please keep coming! Thanks.
That is so funny. I’m not sure how i would respond if my older girl asked that about her sister, but i think you did the right thing. Kids are just fascinating
Lol…
Bomi..he is telling yu he needs a baby sister…lol
I think someone just needs a sister in the house. Nice how you teased out the lesson of biases. Thanks for sharing.
Esi –
They truly are fascinating beings aren’t they!! Hard to believe we were all like them at one point lol! Now we find them so fascinating. Thank you very much Esy!
Yemi, Myne –
LOL about my little guy needing a sister! I don’t know about that…. lol..
Thanks a lot to you both for stopping by to read and comment. I appreciate it! Glad you enjoyed it – thank you.
LOL~ i can just picture your little one going “huh! Mummy u alright” lol! I loved this. and it is very true wat u said. my impatience has gotten d better part of me, and its not good at all. I need to be slow to speak at all times
thanks for the reminder
I read this post and it made me smile and got me thinking of the many times I blew off steam for no reason at all and ended up laughing many hours later because of how red i had turned.
Thank you so much for reminding me to relax when I hear anything.
I read this post and it made me smile and got me thinking of the many times I blew off steam for no reason at all and ended up laughing many hours later because of how red i had turned.
Thank you so much for reminding me to relax when I hear anything.
Amina – Thank you! Good to know this was helpful… I think we all need a lesson in patience and being “slow to speak” from time to time! So you are definitely not alone. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment.
Anietie, your words made me laugh, isn’t it funny how sometimes we realize how silly our actions are, after the fact? I think it’s great that we can laugh at ourselves lol. Thank God for the gift of laughter, right? And also for second (and 3rd, 4th…) chances. You are very welcome Anietie, thank you very much for reading and sharing your experience too.
this was wonderful again. we usually see the world thru our bias-tinted glasses and read a thousand and one meanings into innocent words, nuances and all that.
i wonder if we can all return to the innocence we had as little kids. and to parents, lets allow our kids to be kids and enjoy their childhood, its the best time of their lives.
thanks Bomi, another lovely read
Thank you very much SonofPhilip! Appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. You are so right! May God help us (and may we help ourselves) to wipe our glasses clean of bias regularly! Thanks SofP!
Bomi thanks for sharing this. it’s amazing how we can glean lessons from the little little everyday happenings around us. i particularly like the part where you talked about our being quick to listen but taking time to process what we hear. ive fallen victim of that a number of times and have come to see how much damage our pressumptions and biases can do to our relationships. Thanks Bomi.
i was referred to your site from femme lounge , and i didn’t make a mistake in checking it out. i just finished reading the’ the woman with blue jacket’ , it’s very inspiartional. bomi, we sure need more of this in this sin saturated world.
True!!! We should not let our biases cloud our thinking. But LOL to ‘”Mummy! My brother’s a boy – Can he be a girl when he’s 20″?
@Nnenna – Thanks so much! It’s a lesson I think we should be reminded of everyday… it can be so easy to forget lol!! Thanks Nnenna!
@Tolulope – Thank you so much Tolulope! I am so glad you found JollyNotes and I am really thankful that you are finding it useful. Thank you again…hope to see you around more:)! Have a great day Tolulope.
@Asifa – LOL!!! Kids say the absolutely funniest things sometimes don’t they? Working daily on not letting any biases cloud my thinking… cos you just never know where/when that might happen lol! Thanks a lot Asifa!
If only we can learn to accept people the way God wanted, we would be halfway close to heaven’s gate
You make it sound like your boys (4 & 2) are one “BIG BOYS”…lol…(hope that is not another presumption) and you know what, anytime I read your write-ups where you make mention of your home, you make me paint a picture of what I want my home to be like in my heart. lol..
You’ve indeed been a blessing, and thanks for being one.
My brother thought I might like this website. He was totally right. This post truly made my day. Thanks!
@Demola, Mary, Elliot
Thanks a lot for taking the time to read and share as well! Thanks for your very very kind words. Much appreciated. I pray we all continually be a blessing to everyone around us. Thanks again ~
Thanks a lot for this
I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your website. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and visit more often. Great work!
Howdy! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be okay. I’m definitely enjoying your blog and look forward to new posts.
@BPS, Mac, Lim
Thanks so much for the kind comments and compliments. Appreciate it
I am not on twitter yet, but thanks for asking!
Merry Christmas ~ Stay blessed.
I am bookmarking this asap! Thank you very much